Welcome to my Crime and Justice blog! I am a 19 year old criminal justice student at the University of Winnipeg. I advocate for prisoners' rights, human rights, equality and criminal justice/prison system reforms.

Tuesday, June 15, 2010

Abusive mother was abused herself -- Daughter wants to be reunited


A 10-year-old girl placed in foster care after being abused by her mother has written a letter to Manitoba justice officials asking for her fractured family to be reunited.
Crown attorney Debbie Buors read the girl's handwritten plea aloud at the mother's sentencing hearing Monday. The 30-year-old woman -- who can't be named to protect the victim -- admits to shoving the girl down a flight of stairs when she was six years old, breaking her leg. There were also reported incidents of hitting the girl with a belt and wooden spoon, and locking her in a closet while they were living on their reserve north of Winnipeg.
The woman was given a conditional two-year sentence under a joint recommendation from Crown and defence lawyers.
"There were no good things, only bad things. I felt scared, sad and not loved," the girl's letter begins.
"It hurts to write these things. It brings back bad memories."
But her tone quickly changed as the girl described being seized by Child and Family Services, along with her five siblings between the ages of four and 13 who have been placed in different foster homes.
"I miss my brother and sisters. I wish my mom could be better. We just want to live with each other," she wrote. "I love her with all my heart, and I miss her. I wonder why she did this to me?"
The two-page letter ends with a large drawing of a heart with the words "I love my Mom" written beneath it.
Defence lawyer Dan Manning told court the mother was victimized as a child and continued the cycle of abuse. The problems began when the woman got into a relationship with a violent alcoholic who would regularly attack her and the children.
Originally, the father was investigated for hurting the girl. He pleaded guilty to charges and spent time behind bars. After he was released, the girl recanted part of her statement and blamed her mother for some of her injuries.
Manning said the mother "just snapped" on the day she shoved the girl down the stairs. She was frustrated because her children were taking too long to get ready for school and were going to miss their bus.
"She tells me she was just terrified and overwhelmed with guilt," Manning said.
The mother has been taking several anger management and parenting classes while attending alcohol treatment since her arrest in 2007, court was told. She has been free on bail but recently suffered a major setback when she was arrested for impaired driving. Those charges remain before the courts.
Buors said the Crown agreed to a conditional sentence because of conflicting statements the girl gave to police about what was done to her and by whom. They also wanted to spare her the trauma of having to testify against her mother.
"I would just like to better myself and pray that my daughter forgives me," the woman told court Monday. The Crown agreed the mom could have supervised visits with her daughter.
"She wants to start the healing process," Manning said.

I have compassion towards this mother as she was abused herself and "snapped" on her daughter. She is truly remorseful for what she has done and has been taking anger management, parenting classes and alcohol treatment. I completely agree with the conditional sentence for this mother and hope that the family is reunited someday. This woman should continue attending anger management, alcohol treatment and parenting classes and should also be receiving counseling for her past abuse. I also feel sorry for the little girl, that she hasn't seen her siblings or her mother. Siblings in care of CFS should be kept together, as they can help each other cope. CFS should begin with supervised and scheduled visits between the daughter and her mother and then in the long run, the children should be able to return to their mother. There would have been no purpose in imprisoning this woman and she is not a danger to society and needs help.  The girl, her siblings and mother should have regular and frequent visits and outings in the community, like to the park or special family events. The children should also be paired up in foster homes if possible.

Glad to see that the mother is really trying. She will have slips and falls so if the girl goes back, CFS will need to monitor this and support the family.

It goes to show that no matter how a parent mistreats a child, most will still love them. That is why it is imperative we have supports in place and availalbe to help broken homes. They are all in pain and suffering, especially the children. the whole family needs help so that they can grow into healthy adults and be great parents themselves. The cycle needs to be broken. The CFS system still needs to find ways to keep children together, I have heard it time and again, let the parents leave and let the children stay in the home. Then parents can get the help they need. People with addictions take three or four tries before they can control their addiction - not making an excuse for them but that is the reality. workers that judge parents also deter healing and there are many that do especially since many workers come from well off families. 

Glad to see that the mother is really trying. She will have slips and falls so if the girl goes back, CFS will need to monitor this and support the family.

It goes to show that no matter how a parent mistreats a child, most will still love them. That is why it is imperative we have supports in place and availalbe to help broken homes. They are all in pain and suffering, especially the children. the whole family needs help so that they can grow into healthy adults and be great parents themselves. The cycle needs to be broken. The CFS system still needs to find ways to keep children together, I have heard it time and again, let the parents leave and let the children stay in the home. Then parents can get the help they need. People with addictions take three or four tries before they can control their addiction - not making an excuse for them but that is the reality. workers that judge parents also deter healing and there are many that do especially since many workers come from well off families. 

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